I am blessed...

 As a writer who still has much to learn and many more words to write, I am blessed by the people around me who not only pay lip service to this venture, but actively support it.

Ask a writer how important it is to have a positive support system, and you'll probably be told it can make or break a writer.  Without support on the home front, it can be difficult to start or maintain a career.  If you keep getting negative input from those you are closest to, getting to the keyboard can be that much harder.

I'm fortunate to have people like my husband Don, who will ask me before he goes to bed if I've written my words for the day yet and will urge me to get to my office if I haven't.  He reads what I place in front of him and doesn't imply I'm a failure because I'm still not making a whole lot of money yet.  When I am discouraged, he will remind me that this is a marathon and to do what I know to do.

He even invests in my workshops and conventions because they are part of the learning process and the business of writing.  He's my personal cheerleader and I'm grateful to have him in my life.

My friends want me to succeed and cheer me on to get going and write more stuff for them to read.  I appreciate them and their patience.

Hopefully you have an excellent support system as you go after your passion.  I hope there are people in your life cheering you on and encouraging you to pursue your dreams.  May that be as true for you as it is for me.

Greetings from South Carolina!

 As I type this I'm sitting in my oldest son's home in South Carolina.  My husband Don and I are taking a few days to visit with him and his precious family.

There's his wife Amanda, who is the best daughter-in-law I could ask for.  She and John make us feel welcome and she does all kinds of sweet things to make us comfortable.  Just one example: even though she doesn't drink coffee, she bought a Keurig coffeemaker for me and her parents so we can have coffee when we're here.

Of course, there are the grandbabies, though "babies" is misleading.  Lavinia is six and has just completed kindergarten.  Her brother Matthias is four.  They are both adorable and the high point of our visit here, and certainly two of the most wonderful children in the world (yes, I am biased).

We've had a great time so far this trip.  While I intend to continue my writing streak while I'm here, I'm also letting myself have some down time.  We all need that occasionally.  I'm grateful to have the opportunity to spend such time with people I love.

I hope you also have a chance to rest and recharge at some point.  What works for you?

Keeping on keeping on...

 There is a lot going on in my life right now.  Sometimes it feels like too much.  I didn't even realize how much I was dealing with until my counselor pointed it out.

I'm behind in things I want to accomplish on the writing front.  I need to get caught up on some publishing matters, plus work on a Kickstarter I want to do hopefully next month.

I'm still writing and keeping up my daily streak of at least 250 words.  Every little bit helps, so each day is a small victory, even if I get nothing else done that day.

Here's hoping you are enjoying victories, however small, each day.

Preparing for the Holidays

 As I type this,  there are six days until Christmas.  Am I ready?  Cue hysterical laughter here.

I did manage to get Christmas cards out yesterday, which is too late to arrive on time, but my family is accustomed to my being fashionably late for the holidays.

I'm trying not to stress out about it.  I'm dealing with some deadlines that are coming up, and I'm trying not to stress out about that either.  

My goal for the rest of the year is to get as much writing and reading done as possible.  I'm 22,000 words away from hitting 200,000 words for the year.  Can I write 22k words between now and January 1st?  I'm about to find out.

Hoping you aren't stressing out this holiday season.  And that if you have goals for the end of the year, you meet them.

Finding My Groove

 One bad thing about being on vacation for almost two weeks is I've lost my writing groove.  While I managed to write every day, it continued to be less than five hundred words more often than not.

It didn't help this week I got two pieces of bad news that impacted my mood and writing.  One night I started to cry from fatigue and sadness.  I had people to get me through it, and I did eke out a few words that night.  

I also have a number of things I need to get done.  It's sometimes hard to pick what to do from all the choices.  I hope I can pick one and focus - just a matter of which one.

Let me finish this blog post by wishing all dads a Happy Father's Day.  Wish I could call my dad and talk to him.  Make sure you call yours.

A Milestone Reached

 This is being posted late because I wanted to do my daily writing first.  Why was that important?

Today was a special day.  Today marked the 900th day in a row of writing for me.

That's 900 days of getting at least a few words down.  That's doing it despite fatigue, sickness, and grief.  That's squeezing it in when I've been busy and burning the midnight oil to finish a project.

It feels good to hit it.  For me, a streak is incredibly motivating.  The longer it goes, the harder it is to break.  I can look at the march of stars on my calendar and see that every day, I accomplished this one thing.

Will it last forever?  Who knows?  So far, Covid hasn't stopped it, a death in the family hasn't stopped it, my lack of discipline hasn't stopped it.  I'm not saying it can't be stopped.  But so far, it's healthy.

My next goal?  1,000 days, of course.  

What motivates you in your passion?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

 ...or in this case, home. 

The last half of August was interesting, but not always in a good way.  I developed an eye infection (boo) and the pressure in my right eye has gone up considerably (double boo).  I already have glaucoma, and the upshot is I'm on 4 different eyedrops that must be administered at various times of the day.  Not fun, but it beats damage to my vision.

One good thing that happened is that I got to order a new couch to replace our current one which is, to be honest, in sad shape.  It comes in tomorrow.

On the writing front I'm still making words and planning what to do on the publishing side between now and December.  I've also started sending short stories to magazine markets again - I currently have six out and I'm trying to add two more to that number each week.

Did you know I have a newsletter I am striving to post 2x a month?  Today I include a cover reveal for my upcoming collection, Seeking Refuge and Other Bible Stories.  If you're not getting the newsletter you can subscribe to it using the link on the left-hand side of the blog here.  When you sign up, you also get a free short story!

Hope September starts out well for you.  Talk to you soon!

A Milestone

 Today marks a special day in my writing journey.  

Today is the 500th day in a row that I've written either fiction or creative non-fiction (column is one example).

To my knowledge, this is the longest writing streak I've ever maintained.  It has meant writing when I was tired, writing when I was grieving, writing when I wasn't feeling well, and even writing when I just plain didn't feel like it.

I've written on vacation.  I've written well past midnight some days.  I've written during the day.  I've written when I wasn't sure what the story I started would be about.  I've written when other things tried to tempt me away from the keyboard.

Currently my minimum word count for a day is 500 words.  Beginning next year I plan to up that to 750 words.  Later in 2022 my goal is 1000 words a day.  Baby steps.  But I'm getting there.

Along with this I've been writing a short story a week.  I'm up to 45 short stories done - the goal is 52, or one year's worth.  Seven to go.  I think I might pull it off.

But I admit I'm proud of that 500.  It represents a lot of words.  A lot of exercising my creative brain.  And while it hasn't always been easy, it's been fun.  And I've learned a lot from it.

So now?  Let's aim for 600.  Wish me luck.

Life Rolls

In an earlier post, I may have written about the concept of "life rolls."  These are events that happen in your life that can temporarily derail you.  They don't have to be bad - but they are often major.

On August 24th I was struck with not one but two major life rolls.  My dear mother-in-law, whom I had been taking care of for some time, passed away.

Within the hour we received news that our dog, Barney, had to be put to sleep.

One of these is bad.  Together?  I wept in someone's arms, saying I couldn't cope with it.  That I wasn't strong enough to deal with the weight of grief.

But I did.  And I am.  More or less.

I gave myself permission to drop everything, including the writing, for a time. The time was brief for some things (I only took one week off of my column that appears on Saturdays, but it was not due to pressure - I could have taken longer - but I wanted to see if I could still do it).

I worried that grief had broken writer brain.  I had a Romance Writing Workshop I was scheduled to go to in less than a month, and I wondered if I could still write decent fiction.  Perhaps it seems strange that I would worry about that, but I had a lot of trouble with writing after my father-in-law died.

I decided to go ahead and go to the workshop after the people giving it encouraged me to come.  There was a story assignment.  I wrote something for it, only getting stuck when it came to a title - and usually titles are the first thing I come up with.  But I put together a tale that had a beginning, middle, and end.

I went to the workshop.  I did most of the exercises assigned and wrote two more stories, as well as two novel sketches.  And to my relief, I discovered writing brain was not broken.  I could still produce good fiction.

And I only had one meltdown and one choked-up moment.  So that was a win too.

Now?  As one person put it, I'm finding my sea legs.  I am no longer a caregiver, so looking to fill that empty space in my life is what I'm working on.  It's not a straight line - grief appears to take weird turns and detours - and I'm still trying to find my way.

But I WILL find it. 

Next month I plan to tackle Nanowrimo, and hope to thrash out 50,000 words.  It feels daunting. But maybe, just maybe, I can do it.

If you're a praying person, pray for me as I walk this road.  If you don't pray, I'll take good thoughts.  If you've read this far, thank you.

A Realization

A couple of weeks ago, something hit me.  It is, in retrospect, a fairly obvious observation.  But for me, it was an epiphany.

In case you are new to this blog, I am a caregiver to my mother-in-law, who requires a lot of hands-on care.  I am also a wife, a mother of grown sons and grandmother to the cutest little girl on the planet.

I suffer from some chronic health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and ADD.  I use a CPAP at night.  And yes, I need to lose weight.

I am also a writer who is struggling right now with getting writing things done.  There never seems to be time or energy for that part of my life.  I have been frustrated with how it is going.

Something hit me a couple of weeks ago, which made me look at things differently.  What was this surprising thought?

My life isn't going to change for me.  At least, not anytime soon.

I am going to continue to be a caregiver for the foreseeable future.  I am going to have family obligations.  My health may improve (indeed, some recent changes have helped), but overall I am going to have issues.

None of that is going to do me the favor of making things easier. 

If I'm going to be the writer I want to be and successful at this, I can't wait for my life to make it easier.  In fact, when you get right down to it, there is only one thing in the equation I can change.

Me.

I can change how I look at things and how I deal with them.  I can change my priorities and put the writing where it belongs.  I can stop looking at things as impossible obstacles and search for workarounds.  I can be creative.

It's time to stop waiting for things to change, and start working on the one thing I can change.  Me.

It's a little scary.  I don't know if I can change.  I'm not by nature a disciplined or organized person, and any changes will require a measure of both.

But something has to change.  Because I want to write.  I want to put my work out there for you to read.  I want to tell stories and make you laugh, cry, or think.

So, I have to change. 

Wish me luck.

Looking ahead to 2018

Wow, happy new year! I am so glad that 2017 is over and done with - it was not the best of years for me. Not totally awful (I did learn I was going to be a grandma for the first time) but overall, disappointing and troubling. But I am taking a page from Philippians 3:13-14: "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (NIV) So I am going to concentrate on looking ahead. See what I can accomplish in this new year. There's a lot to look forward to. Here are just a few of my goals for 2018: • Write 182,500 words • Submit at least 1 short story/month to markets • Publish 12 short stories/novels • Get “Laura’s Look: 2001” published • Blog at least 1x a week • Reach goal weight • Keep better track of administrative stuff. I hope you will join me on my journey to become a better Christian, writer, person. Looking forward to it!

Hitting a wall

I hadn't realized how long it's been since I blogged.  December?  Really?

2017 has been...interesting.

So far this year I've sold a couple of short stories, done a little publishing, written a little (not enough).

But in May of this year I hit a wall.

A little bit of explanation.  I am primary caregiver for my mother-in-law.  A family member is going through some serious issues.  Another one hasn't spoken to me in over a year (long story).

At some point in May this all ganged up on me and I found myself physically, mentally, and emotionally worn out.

I am fortunate in that I DO have a support system.  My husband believes in me and my writing, sometimes more than I do and is working with me to find solutions to my stress.  I have brothers and sisters in Christ willing to lend a helping hand or pray for me.  A best friend who listens when I have to vent to SOMEONE.

But I am looking around now as June closes and wondering if things will improve.  I pray that they will, and that I'm through with walls for the year.

And that my NEXT blog post is sooner than 6 months from now.

The Scariest Thing in Washington, DC

The scariest thing in Washington, DC isn't crime.  I never felt in danger from anyone while I've been here and it's been a few days.

The scariest thing?  Their escalators.

These things are EVERYWHERE.  Especially around the Metro.  If you are lucky, there's an elevator available you can use instead.  Otherwise, you are stuck.

This is very bad for me.  I HATE escalators.  This is no mild dislike.  I loathe them with a passion.  Especially down escalators.  I am always afraid I'm going to pitch forward on one of those.

I can mostly handle up escalators, though I don't like them.  But some of the escalators around here are LONG.  Throw in I am afraid of heights and you'll understand why that might pose a problem for me.

I am fortunate that my family is patient and understanding of this phobia.  On one of the long escalators they surrounded me so I felt protected going up.  When I had no choice but to use a down escalator not once but twice on this trip Don didn't laugh at me but stood in front of me and cheered me on as I gripped the handrail with both hands.

In time I could probably overcome this fear.  But for right now, my attitude is, "down with down escalators!"

Monday Musings: The power of the word

So if you read my weekly column, you will know that one of the things I mentioned was my wonky internet service.  If you don't read my column, let's just say that my Internet has a nasty habit of not working sometimes.  It is frequent enough to be annoying.

And yes, I have called tech support.  They give it a try, but it never seems to stay fixed.  This as raised the ire of those living with me in the Ware household to the point they suggest I dump our current ISP and get a new one.

This is not something I want to do, if for no other reason my main email address is with this ISP and changing it is a hassle I'm steadily trying to avoid.

So, the column appeared on Saturday.  Today, I get a phone call.

It is from my ISP.  They are concerned about my problems.  They intend to send over a tech to address the issue tomorrow.

I was surprised.  I was polite.  And, I'm a little scared.

You see, I didn't expect anything to come from those words.  Okay, maybe some people saying they enjoyed the column, but nothing like this.

It reminded me that words have power.  The things I type that get published, whether in a column or a short story or even a novel, can influence others.  And I want to be careful with that, because I certainly don't want to send anyone down a wrong path because of what I've written.

Today my words might have helped me solve a problem.

What will they do tomorrow?

Spinning plates...

Older readers of this blog might remember seeing at one point of time or another a guy spinning a bunch of plates on top of poles.  He'll get a few going, then has to run back to the first plates and keep them spinning before they wobble and fall down.  The poor man keeps running back and forth to keep all the plates spinning so none of them fall and break.

That's what I feel like these days.

I want to write new fiction.  I have a project I want to get into shape to get to a copy editor.  I have at least 2 projects that I want to self-publish that need to be formatted first.

My house is a wreck.  I have people who need me for various things and responsibilities that need to be filled.  My list of "Shoulds" is a mile long.

Plus I am somehow supposed to "promote" myself.  I haven't quite figured out how to do that yet and how much is too much (I don't want readers of this blog to hate me for constantly flooding them with "buy my stuff!  buy my stuff!").

No wonder I'm tired!

Anyone have any advice on how to keep the plates spinning?

Withdrawal is No Fun

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with ADD - Attention Deficit Disorder.  In order to combat that, I take medication.  This medication is for all intents and purposes an amphetamine.  But instead of making me bounce off the walls, it energizes me and helps me focus.

Because of what it is it is tightly controlled.  My insurance changed slightly recently.  Because of that, even though I've taken this medication for years my doctor is suddenly required to provide pre-authorization before the insurance will pay for it.

Sounds simple, right?  Well, I've been doing without this particular medication since Sunday while my doctor, the pharmacy, and I guess the insurance company all get their act together.

Meanwhile I struggle with the symptoms that come with a sudden withdrawal.  Throw in that I also suffer from depression and anxiety and that my symptoms aren't helping with those conditions and you will understand this hasn't been a great week.

But right now all I can do is take it one step at a time and hope that tomorrow the powers that be will get this straightened out.  Anyway, consider this blog post a getting this off my chest.  Maybe it'll help me feel better.

Back on the exercise wagon?

It has been a long time since I visited the YMCA.  Time seems to slip away and to be honest it doesn't often enter my mind, though I know it would help with weight loss.

Yesterday my husband Don and I were talking.  He pointed out I have downtime between dropping the two young men who live with us off to their respective jobs.  He suggested I take 15 minutes and walk a treadmill.  Not too fast - I'm too heavy and it's been too long - but starting off slow and giving it a shot Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (commitments I have during the year make this more difficult on Tuesdays and Thursdays).

Okay, I said, I'll give it a try.

So after dropping off Young Man #1 to his job I headed for the Y.  After checking in I picked out a treadmill and after picking a lecture on my iPod to listen to, I got started.

Well, I only got up to 1.8 mph on the thing.  Because I have balance issues I hang on to the front rail of the machine, which apparently stressed out my biceps.  I plodded through 15 minutes before happily getting off the thing and heading home for a needed shower.

I am going to do my best to try out this schedule.  I am trying to have a positive attitude while I endure, hoping it will result in good numbers on the scale.  Maybe by going public with this I'll do a better job sticking with it.  We'll see.