A mixed up kind of day...

 Today is filled with mixed feelings for me.

On the one hand, it is my younger sister's birthday.  Anita is a fun person, and very talented and kind.  For example, she can tap dance, while I have two left feet.  

When I started my column years ago, I would always call her and read it to her before sending it to the newspaper.  She helped me make it better and I always looked forward to these times.

I am happy to celebrate her birthday and wish her well.

On the other hand, this is also a sad day - it marks the fourth anniversary of my father's death.

My dad's death was unexpected.  He apparently threw a blood clot from his leg to his lungs or heart.  As a result, he suffered significant brain damage.

I had been in Jacksonville a few days when he first went into the hospital and things were uncertain.  My stepmother discontinued life support two days after I returned home, and I couldn't get there in time.

Anita was kind enough to text me throughout the process and let me know what was happening.  I was on a video call with my daughter-in-law Amanda when Dad passed.  Amanda told my grandchild Lavinia, who was three at the time, "Grandma is sad.  Can you give her hugs and kisses?"

That sweet child rained hugs and kisses on that phone.

So, if you see me today, I might be smiling at some memory I share with Anita. Or I might be sad as I reflect on the loss of my father.

Either way, a hug isn't wrong.

We're nearing the halfway mark of 2024...

 Things are gaining steam here at the Ware household.  I am looking at three different trips this summer, two with my husband Don.

The first trip later this month will be to visit my most adorable grandchildren in South Carolina.  Don and I always enjoy the time with our oldest son and his family.  John and his wife Amanda are gracious hosts and the grandkids are a delight.

The second trip is about a month later and sees Don and I heading to Lancaster, Pennsylvania for the convention .Shore Leave., a scifi/fantasy event that is a lot of fun.  Because I've written a Star Trek short story that was published in an anthology (Strange New Worlds 10) I am a guest author at the event.  I will be speaking on some panels and participate in "Meet the Pros," an opportunity for fans to say hi and maybe buy a book or two.  If you are in the area, I hope you come say hi.

Before leaving Pennsylvania, I will make a pilgrimage to the town of Hershey, as a good chocoholic should.

My last summer trip takes place in early August.  I will be attending a writing workshop that I am currently writing stories for.  The Anthology Workshop ran a number of years before Covid, and the creators have finally decided to bring it back.  It's fun and nerve-wracking all at once, if you can imagine having your work critiqued in front of over thirty other writers by eight editors.  I'm so looking forward to it and seeing old friends.

That's my summer.  What about yours?

Greetings From South Carolina!

As I type this, I'm sitting in my oldest son's home visiting him, his wife, and two perfect grandchildren.  Don and I will be here a few days spoiling aforementioned grandchildren and enjoying time with their parents.

I plan to keep my streak going while I'm here.  It may be slow, but I will get words in.  I already know my upcoming column will be about this trip, so that makes planning easier.

I have a few projects in various stages, but nothing coming out before April or May.  Will let you know more about them as those dates get closer.

In the meantime, I will take time to enjoy a break from the routine.

Hello, Unwelcome Life Roll...

 The past week has been a difficult one.  I don't want to go into gory details, but I will assure you my marriage and health are okay.  But what's happening in my life right now has affected me on numerous levels, and I have been sad a good part of the week.

Fellow writers and I talk about "life rolls."  There are events, good or bad, that seriously impact one's life.  Some life rolls are minor - a cold, or maybe you had a tiff with your spouse.  Some are gigantic - a death in the family, a move, a change in employment.  

My particular life roll isn't minor, but it's not gigantic.  However, it's big enough to have an impact in almost every area in my life.

Including the writing.

For me, writing can be a refuge from bad stuff.  Since the end of June, 2020, I've managed to write at least a few words every day up till now.  At times it has been something to keep me sane in an insane world.  Other times it was something I could fall back on, even when I was grieving or angry.

This time, the writing has been hard.  This particular life roll has taken a lot of space in my brain, and crowded out the words.

I had to put down a project I'd been working on because I just couldn't get into it.  I also need to finish my research for it, and I've struggled to do that as well.

Instead, I'm writing what I'm calling a "therapy story."  The circumstances in the story aren't quite like what I'm going through, but there are similarities.  I'm hoping getting some of the emotions out through my fingertips will help me process them better.

This life roll will eventually sort itself out.  There will be a point I can move past the worst of it and get my focus back.

Until then, I will try to take it one day and one word at a time.

January has been insane...

 ...on so may levels.

First, my husband Don went out of town for a few days.  He arrived home the day before I was scheduled to fly out to Las Vegas for a writing workshop.  We spent less than 24 hours together before he dropped me off at the Orlando airport for a late flight.

The workshop was fabulous, as I knew it would be.  It was a great opportunity to connect with other writers and learn about writing science fiction mystery stories.  I read a lot and wrote a lot and also walked a lot (the hotel complex was HUGE).

On Friday, I flew back to Orlando, where Don met me later that day.  No, I didn't return to Sebring.  After spending the night in a hotel, I went BACK to the airport to catch a flight to South Carolina, where my mazing daughter-in-law was recovering from rotator cuff surgery.  I am currently at her home, helping out where I can for a few days before finally flying home on Thursday.

So there's been a lot of travel and doing stuff and not as much sleep   But it's all good.  I'm still writing every day to keep up my streak and watching what I eat to keep down my weight.  

All in all, I'm looking forward to no travel for a few weeks.

So how are things with you?

Spinning plates

 Lately I feel as if I'm spinning a number of plates in my life.  They're all on poles and I have to keep them spinning lest they fall and break.  There are a number of them so I'm currently rushing around,  trying to keep them all going without dropping one.

In the writing department, I'm struggling with low word counts (I do write at least 250 words each day - my streak is over 1100 days right now).  I'm working to get my column collection done so I can send it to mt waiting backers.  I'm in the middle of a short story and I'm stuck because I can't figure something out.  Oh, and I'm taking a six-week course on writing that I'm enjoying and learning from but, like everything else, it takes time.

In real life, I've been working with a new (to me) diet and exercise plan.  So far, in about 2 months, I've dropped twenty pounds.  I'm pleased with it but it takes up time and brain space to keep up with.  Another couple of plates to spin.

And, in general, I lead a full life.  I teach a Ladies Bible Class on Tuesday mornings.  I teach four and five-year-old kids during Wednesday night Bible Study.  My husband and I try to match our schedules so we can spend time together and work on our relationship on a daily basis.  And there's running the household with all that entails.

Just typing that out makes me sigh.

I'm trying to, as a friend put it, "give myself grace."  I'm accepting I'm not perfect and doing the best I can under the circumstances.  So far my head is still above water.  I'm meeting my obligations and working on solutions.

What do you do when it seems you have a lot to do?  How do you keep YOUR plates spinning?

Sorry...

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.  We enjoyed our time with our children, and especially our two grandchildren.  Lavinia is four and Matthias will turn three this month.  I'm wondering where the time went.

 If you're here looking for my short story "Black Deeds on a Black Friday," the week is up, and I've taken it down.  Thanks to all who read it and let me know what they thought.  

I'm currently working on a holiday collection I hope to get out the first half of this month.  I will keep you in the loop on it.  

I hope the season is treating you well.  What's your favorite part of this holiday season?

At the moment, I'm in Orlando, Florida doing some Disney time with a couple of friends.  Lots of fun, but of course I brought my laptop to write every day.  The streak is well over 800 days now (I don't recall what it is exactly) and I'm not planning on breaking it now.

See you in a couple of weeks!

Life after Ian

 This will be a bit more personal than usual.  Hurricane Ian gave us a glancing blow on Wednesday night, which was more than enough to produce howling winds, downed trees, and uprooting my two rosebushes.  It also killed power to our house, never a great thing.

Fortunately, my husband Don, a physician, has access to the doctor's lounge at one of the local hospitals.  The hospital has both Internet and power and I'm taking advantage of both as I post my bimonthly blog.  

Thanks to this access, I've been able to keep up my writing streak, which is currently over 800 days.  It's comforting to be able to write even in the mild chaos our lives are in at the moment.

If you were in Ian's path, I pray you are okay.  If you weren't, please continue to pray for those of us who were.  

Are you receiving my newsletter?  If not, I'd love it if you did.  Check out the left-hand side of this page to sign up and receive a FREE short story as a way of saying thanks.

To show you some of what Ian did, I've included two pictures of my poor rosebushes.  I'm hoping we can save them.

Until next time.  Be safe, everyone!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

 ...or in this case, home. 

The last half of August was interesting, but not always in a good way.  I developed an eye infection (boo) and the pressure in my right eye has gone up considerably (double boo).  I already have glaucoma, and the upshot is I'm on 4 different eyedrops that must be administered at various times of the day.  Not fun, but it beats damage to my vision.

One good thing that happened is that I got to order a new couch to replace our current one which is, to be honest, in sad shape.  It comes in tomorrow.

On the writing front I'm still making words and planning what to do on the publishing side between now and December.  I've also started sending short stories to magazine markets again - I currently have six out and I'm trying to add two more to that number each week.

Did you know I have a newsletter I am striving to post 2x a month?  Today I include a cover reveal for my upcoming collection, Seeking Refuge and Other Bible Stories.  If you're not getting the newsletter you can subscribe to it using the link on the left-hand side of the blog here.  When you sign up, you also get a free short story!

Hope September starts out well for you.  Talk to you soon!

Life Rolls

In an earlier post, I may have written about the concept of "life rolls."  These are events that happen in your life that can temporarily derail you.  They don't have to be bad - but they are often major.

On August 24th I was struck with not one but two major life rolls.  My dear mother-in-law, whom I had been taking care of for some time, passed away.

Within the hour we received news that our dog, Barney, had to be put to sleep.

One of these is bad.  Together?  I wept in someone's arms, saying I couldn't cope with it.  That I wasn't strong enough to deal with the weight of grief.

But I did.  And I am.  More or less.

I gave myself permission to drop everything, including the writing, for a time. The time was brief for some things (I only took one week off of my column that appears on Saturdays, but it was not due to pressure - I could have taken longer - but I wanted to see if I could still do it).

I worried that grief had broken writer brain.  I had a Romance Writing Workshop I was scheduled to go to in less than a month, and I wondered if I could still write decent fiction.  Perhaps it seems strange that I would worry about that, but I had a lot of trouble with writing after my father-in-law died.

I decided to go ahead and go to the workshop after the people giving it encouraged me to come.  There was a story assignment.  I wrote something for it, only getting stuck when it came to a title - and usually titles are the first thing I come up with.  But I put together a tale that had a beginning, middle, and end.

I went to the workshop.  I did most of the exercises assigned and wrote two more stories, as well as two novel sketches.  And to my relief, I discovered writing brain was not broken.  I could still produce good fiction.

And I only had one meltdown and one choked-up moment.  So that was a win too.

Now?  As one person put it, I'm finding my sea legs.  I am no longer a caregiver, so looking to fill that empty space in my life is what I'm working on.  It's not a straight line - grief appears to take weird turns and detours - and I'm still trying to find my way.

But I WILL find it. 

Next month I plan to tackle Nanowrimo, and hope to thrash out 50,000 words.  It feels daunting. But maybe, just maybe, I can do it.

If you're a praying person, pray for me as I walk this road.  If you don't pray, I'll take good thoughts.  If you've read this far, thank you.

Looking ahead to 2018

Wow, happy new year! I am so glad that 2017 is over and done with - it was not the best of years for me. Not totally awful (I did learn I was going to be a grandma for the first time) but overall, disappointing and troubling. But I am taking a page from Philippians 3:13-14: "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (NIV) So I am going to concentrate on looking ahead. See what I can accomplish in this new year. There's a lot to look forward to. Here are just a few of my goals for 2018: • Write 182,500 words • Submit at least 1 short story/month to markets • Publish 12 short stories/novels • Get “Laura’s Look: 2001” published • Blog at least 1x a week • Reach goal weight • Keep better track of administrative stuff. I hope you will join me on my journey to become a better Christian, writer, person. Looking forward to it!

Hitting a wall

I hadn't realized how long it's been since I blogged.  December?  Really?

2017 has been...interesting.

So far this year I've sold a couple of short stories, done a little publishing, written a little (not enough).

But in May of this year I hit a wall.

A little bit of explanation.  I am primary caregiver for my mother-in-law.  A family member is going through some serious issues.  Another one hasn't spoken to me in over a year (long story).

At some point in May this all ganged up on me and I found myself physically, mentally, and emotionally worn out.

I am fortunate in that I DO have a support system.  My husband believes in me and my writing, sometimes more than I do and is working with me to find solutions to my stress.  I have brothers and sisters in Christ willing to lend a helping hand or pray for me.  A best friend who listens when I have to vent to SOMEONE.

But I am looking around now as June closes and wondering if things will improve.  I pray that they will, and that I'm through with walls for the year.

And that my NEXT blog post is sooner than 6 months from now.

Where is "Laura's Look?"

Back in May I announced that "Laura's Look 1998-2000," my first collection of columns, would be out by the end of the month.  Observant folk might notice we are now in July and there is no sign of the book.  The curious among you might even ask, "What gives?"

The short answer: Life happened.

The longer answer (feel free to skip):
At the end of April my mother-in-law, who lives with us, went to the hospital with three different infections - pneumonia, a urinary tract infection, and sepsis.  She was a week in the hospital, and then three weeks in a nursing home undergoing rehab.

Except for a brief hospital stay, since then she's been home.  And she isn't as strong as she was before, and needs more care.  This has fallen to me.

At some point in May I tossed my writing goals on the trash heap.  I just couldn't juggle everything.  I have had to scale back my goals and expectations for now while I figure out this new aspect of my life.

So, when is "Laura's Look 1998-2000" coming out?

Good question. My hope is the end of this month.  But it depends on life right now, which is not entirely in my control.

Thanks for being patient with me.  My hopes is you will find the book worth the wait.

The Scariest Thing in Washington, DC

The scariest thing in Washington, DC isn't crime.  I never felt in danger from anyone while I've been here and it's been a few days.

The scariest thing?  Their escalators.

These things are EVERYWHERE.  Especially around the Metro.  If you are lucky, there's an elevator available you can use instead.  Otherwise, you are stuck.

This is very bad for me.  I HATE escalators.  This is no mild dislike.  I loathe them with a passion.  Especially down escalators.  I am always afraid I'm going to pitch forward on one of those.

I can mostly handle up escalators, though I don't like them.  But some of the escalators around here are LONG.  Throw in I am afraid of heights and you'll understand why that might pose a problem for me.

I am fortunate that my family is patient and understanding of this phobia.  On one of the long escalators they surrounded me so I felt protected going up.  When I had no choice but to use a down escalator not once but twice on this trip Don didn't laugh at me but stood in front of me and cheered me on as I gripped the handrail with both hands.

In time I could probably overcome this fear.  But for right now, my attitude is, "down with down escalators!"

Tuesday Thoughts: Post colonoscopy

Yesterday there was no Monday Musings because yesterday I had an endoscopy and colonoscopy and was loopy enough from the anesthesia that I didn't think I could come up with anything coherent.

There are a number of people who get nervous about this procedure and think of all kinds of reasons to put it off.  I have to admit I understand their concern.

Preparing for the thing is no fun - I spent Sunday near the bathroom.  And you have to more than likely take a day or two off for it (I gave myself permission to take Sunday and Monday off from the writing due to this).  It's a little unsettling, given what takes place.

The three worst things about it for me?  The prep, certainly.  Yesterday the poor nurse had to try two different spots to find a vein for the IV, and that brought not a little pain.  And whatever device they put on my mouth for the endoscopy bruised my lips - it looks like someone socked me in the mouth.

The procedure itself?  Thanks to anesthesia I slept through it.  No biggie.  And today, other than being a little tired and having puffy lips, I am fine.

And the good news is I have no cancer.

You see, the reason I endure this is because of the simple fact that colon/rectal cancer has no warning signs.  And in the past I've had pre-cancerous polyps in my intestine that were removed.  This latest procedure was to make sure they hadn't come back.

Yes, it's a pain.  Yes, it's not on my list of fun things to do.  I'm glad it's done.

But cancer would be worse.

Check with your doctor and if he/she says you need to have this, get it done.  Believe me, it beats the alternative.

Monday Musings: Two new movie trailers...

So I got to see two new movie trailers this week - one for "Independence Day: Resurgence" and the other for "Star Trek: Beyond."

The "Independence Day" one surprised me, I didn't realize a sequel was coming out next year.  I liked the first film and still remember it though it has apparently been nearly 20 years since it came out.

I'm not sure lightning can strike twice in this case, and the movie is hurt by the fact that Will Smith will not be in the sequel (I've heard 2 different reasons for that).  But a number of the original cast came back for this one so I'm curious to see how it goes.

Then there is the "Star Trek" trailer.  I am a fan of the Trek universe, and probably don't hate the reboot as much as others seem to.  But as to the trailer...
Hmm...there may be a spoiler here so if you just don't want to know, this would be a good time to quit reading.  I'll add some space...

10...
9...
8...
7...I'm not kidding bail now if you don't want to read it...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
0...

Okay, why are we destroying the Enterprise?  In the third film?  Just like the original movies?
Yes, it looks impressive, but...WHY?

In spite of that there were some fun moments in the trailer that give me hope the film will actually be enjoyable.  It also comes out next year.

Anyway, are there any films you are looking forward to?  Let me know!

Monday Musings: Nano, Day 23

Here's the thing: I'm not going to make 50k.

As I said last week, I'm not as upset about it as I could be.  This could well be my most productive month this year.  And I'm still interested in this project, even if my timeline is a mess (long story).

But making 50k would've been nice.

But while doing this, I've also managed to get a book to the proofing stage, which means it's almost ready to be launched.  Hopefully that's something I can report on next week.

While I plan to get a bunch of writing done this week, it's also about family.  I will be hosting Thanksgiving dinner.  We will have 8 people and 6 (yes, 6) dogs at our house.  Pray for us! <g>

And I hope all of you have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Monday Musings: The power of the word

So if you read my weekly column, you will know that one of the things I mentioned was my wonky internet service.  If you don't read my column, let's just say that my Internet has a nasty habit of not working sometimes.  It is frequent enough to be annoying.

And yes, I have called tech support.  They give it a try, but it never seems to stay fixed.  This as raised the ire of those living with me in the Ware household to the point they suggest I dump our current ISP and get a new one.

This is not something I want to do, if for no other reason my main email address is with this ISP and changing it is a hassle I'm steadily trying to avoid.

So, the column appeared on Saturday.  Today, I get a phone call.

It is from my ISP.  They are concerned about my problems.  They intend to send over a tech to address the issue tomorrow.

I was surprised.  I was polite.  And, I'm a little scared.

You see, I didn't expect anything to come from those words.  Okay, maybe some people saying they enjoyed the column, but nothing like this.

It reminded me that words have power.  The things I type that get published, whether in a column or a short story or even a novel, can influence others.  And I want to be careful with that, because I certainly don't want to send anyone down a wrong path because of what I've written.

Today my words might have helped me solve a problem.

What will they do tomorrow?

Spinning plates...

Older readers of this blog might remember seeing at one point of time or another a guy spinning a bunch of plates on top of poles.  He'll get a few going, then has to run back to the first plates and keep them spinning before they wobble and fall down.  The poor man keeps running back and forth to keep all the plates spinning so none of them fall and break.

That's what I feel like these days.

I want to write new fiction.  I have a project I want to get into shape to get to a copy editor.  I have at least 2 projects that I want to self-publish that need to be formatted first.

My house is a wreck.  I have people who need me for various things and responsibilities that need to be filled.  My list of "Shoulds" is a mile long.

Plus I am somehow supposed to "promote" myself.  I haven't quite figured out how to do that yet and how much is too much (I don't want readers of this blog to hate me for constantly flooding them with "buy my stuff!  buy my stuff!").

No wonder I'm tired!

Anyone have any advice on how to keep the plates spinning?

Falling down and getting up again...

I posted about falling down and getting up back in 2011, but something happened last weekend that brought that thought back to mind.

Aubrey is an adorable 10-month-old girl whose parents attend my congregation.  It was my turn to man the nursery we run during services, so I was in the conference room we use for that purpose when Aubrey's dad brought her back because she was making a lot of noise during the sermon.

He put her down on the floor and I watched as she began to toddle around the room.  She has just started walking, so her movement involves a lot of falling on the floor.

I noticed that falling down never bothered her.  Sometimes she'd find a way to get right back up; sometimes she stayed on the floor for a couple of minutes.  But she didn't cry or fuss, in fact she was quite cheery the whole time.  And she took joy in her newfound ability to walk, and her delight was catching.

It made me think about this year, and how often I feel I've "fallen" when it comes to the writing.  I didn't write as much as I wanted to this year, and recent attempts at a new schedule were less than stellar.  Looking back, I'm not quite sure what went wrong except that I didn't give the writing the priority it needs or deserves.

But I want to be like Aubrey, and get back up when I fall down.  I don't want falling down to discourage me and just sit there and cry.  I want to get back on my feet and keep going.  And I want to take joy in the journey I've set for myself as an author.

So here I am, planning to get up again.  And if I fall, I will do so again.  And again.  Falling down is not failing.  Failing is not getting up afterwards.

So here's to getting up for the umpteenth time.  Let's see how long I can walk this go round.